Best Gift to Give the People You Love the Most?

I am an only child raised by a single mother who worked full-time and went to school for much of my childhood. This was in Los Angeles so when you factor in travel distance and traffic, I didn't see my mom a whole lot. Still though, that was better than my dad. He lived out of state, traveled a lot, was generally disinterested in me. Even with Christmas and Summer breaks, I could count the number of times I visited him on both hands. He and my mother split when I was 3 and 44 years later, I still barely know the guy.

That's the end of my sob story but I promise I am not telling you any of this to feel sorry for me. There is another point I am getting to here. I grew up fine, followed my passion for work, got married and when we had our first child, a boy, I decided I was going to do the opposite of what my parents did. I was going to be there for my son in all the ways my dad wasn't for me. And this is not unique. To some degree, the way we raise our kids is a referendum on our childhood. It is evolution at work! 

As I have mentioned in previous autobiographical posts, I was always an active person but it became more and more difficult to "find" the time to exercise and just generally, take care of myself as a parent now. Especially as my son got a little older, I couldn't reconcile taking an hour to go work out or spending every precious minute with him. I didn't want to be anything like my own dad. And there was nothing more important to me than him. So how could I possibly take inessential time for myself instead of my son?

My regular routine then became not-so-regular. And of course my health started to decline. I was overweight, out of shape, but there was a mental aspect there as well, even more significant than the physical. You hear people say this all the time, most of us nod our heads in agreement, but it really is true - your physical and mental health are very much intertwined. I was not happy being out of shape, I didn't feel good, and this adversely affected my ability to be the father I wanted to be. Plus I started to think about the future. Suddenly, having a child with plans for more meant that my long-term health more and more important. I was already going to be an older dad and wanted to live long enough to see my kids grow up, hopefully have kids of their own, and me being still spry enough to play with those potential grandkids.

Plus, regardless of physical health, I (and I think just about all of us) needed some Me Time. As many sacrifices we make, and should make, for our children, it cannot and should not be ALL about them. Just as we need a work-life balance, we need an us-family balance too. Not just for us but for them too. Taking care of yourself will help you better take care of others.

Again, this was stuff I had heard before, thought about before, but it was only now that I fully realized how true it was. The best gift we can give to the ones we love the most is our own health, mental and physical. So we can be there for them in the long-term and even the short-term. Taking an hour or however long a day for yourself to truly invest in yourself helps everyone who depends on you. YOUR health and wellness is a gift to THEM. You don't have a be a current parent either. Your own parents, family and friends all care about your health and wellness too!

It's one thing to know this and even believe it wholeheartedly but it is another thing to actually do it. I want you to ask yourself a question right this very second: What are you doing for own mental and physical health right now? For real? Every single one of us should ask ourselves this question frequently. And if we don't have a good answer or think we should have a better answer, now is the perfect time to start working towards one. No matter where you are on your holiday shopping right now, I can tell you that this is the best gift you are going to be able to give anyone who really cares about you.