Think of serious addiction like an alien host taking over your body. It needs booze or whatever substance it craves to live. It will convince you that you need it too. That you cannot live without it. Not to get wasted and have fun but to simply exist normally. True addicts need their vice to just to function. Ever tried not sleeping or eating for a while? You feel terrible and off until you finally get some sleep or a decent meal. It is the same kind of things for alcoholics when we go without drink. In fact, people can actually die from withdrawals. Alcohol and heroine are the 2 things that can kill you even when you quit.
The alien host example is not to exonerate us addicts from blame. We are responsible for our own actions. But it really should be looked at as a disease, like I mentioned earlier. You can deeply love an alcoholic but still hate the disease. Those of us who are infected cannot simply stop through the force of our own sheer wills. If you have ever been able to do this, you were likely not an alcoholic or addict. Not that it means it was easy for you, it can be a real challenge to quit anything your body is used to getting but serious addiction is a whole different animal. I have met plenty of people who lost their families, jobs, freedom and health because of their addictions. They aren't stupid. They know what they are doing is bad for them and causes nothing but problems in their lives. Yet they still cannot stop.
Based on my own experiences and the others I have encountered, things I have read, etc., I think it is safe to say that if you or someone you know is an alcoholic and truly want to quit, you will need some help. As they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, you have to first acknowledge that you have a problem. Part of doing that is accepting that you cannot quit without help. If you think you're still going to be able to handle this yourself, I believe you will ultimately fail. But by acknowledging that you need outside help, you have identified this as a real problem that must be solved (among other things).
Where does one start asking for help though? Even though I had met and been close with many addicts throughout my life, I didn't really know what to do. Of course I knew all about the aforementioned Alcoholics Anonymous and tried going to a couple of meetings as that seemed like the obvious first choice. AA has helped, and will continue to help many people but I felt like it wasn't for me. Not because I had ideological differences with their approach, it just didn't gel with my personality. Luckily, there are a lot of other types of programs and options.
What helped me is that I told everybody. Well, not everybody but my doctors and people I was closest to. This can be pretty hard too. Many functional people with serious addictions are able to hide it, at least somewhat, from the general public (including themselves). Not that others don't know they drink or use drugs, they just don't know the full extent of the problem. Or maybe they do but don't say anything, keeping it in the shadows. Admitting to to others that you are suffering and unable to fix it is often embarrassing (especially for men). Plus, again, it forces you to come to terms with the issue as well. It can't be your little secret anymore.
Talking to other people not only gave me support but opened me up to other options for treatment. My regular doctor was very helpful and I learned a lot more about addiction from friends who had been through it (one reason I too am telling you this now). I didn't realize that outpatient rehab was a thing and I found this a much better fit than AA. I also found digging deeper into the "why" of my alcoholism gave me a lot of other coping mechanisms.
Talking about it in general, while sometimes extremely difficult at first, can just really help. As simple as it sounds, it is undeniably true. This is why the whole group therapy concept is often used. You are surrounded by people who suffer from the same ailment you do. To varying degrees, usually, but they can truly understand the disease aspect in a way that many of your friends and family cannot, no matter how much they love you and empathize. I remember sharing this point specifically in a room and mentioned how others might think it is simply a matter of will power, that we could just stop drinking because we want to and everybody in the room chuckled and nodded their heads. It was like a shot of adrenaline for me! They didn't just understand what I was saying, intellectually - that is something anyone can do - they truly got it on a deeper, emotional level. I can't tell you how helpful that simple moment was to me.
And that's the thing right there. Treatment may seem impossible to a serious addict but you never know exactly how it will affect you until you try. You never know how helpful support can be until you accept that you need it. Quitting drinking was one of the best decisions I ever made and I absolutely, 100% could not have done it (and continue to do it) without help. I drank for many years and had no real issues and I'm a very mentally tough individual. I have been through a lot of crap. I figured I could simply crush this problem as I have crushed so many and go back to a casual drinker but it was never going to work until I reached out to others and admitted to myself that I could not do it alone.
If you or someone you know has a problem with addiction, know that people like me are there for you. We know what you're going through. Even friends and family who don't know what you are going through are hopefully there for you too. Every bit of support you can get will help. Just don't be afraid to ask for it.
No comments:
Post a Comment