Coaching Is Caring!

We all should know by now that boxing is a sport and a very particular set of skills. Skills that we are
always improving and developing, making you stronger and faster every time you practice. Nobody starts off with these skills. Nobody. Sure, some folks are able to learn and adapt more quickly, maybe because of their background doing somewhat comparable things, but they still must learn and develop these skills from the ground up, like everybody else.

One thing that makes boxing a little bit different than many other sports is that it is based less on physical talent than things like football and basketball. Not that those sports aren't very skill-based as they certainly are, but more often than not, the greatest performers also have more physical talent than everybody else. They are just bigger, stronger, faster, quicker, can jump higher, etc. and present a natural match-up problem for anyone trying to defend them. This is much less the case in boxing. There are definitely exceptions, like Tyson Fury being 6'9 and being able to move the way he does, but for the most part, the higher-level boxers are better because they have better developed skills than everybody else, as well as just a powerful mental game.

I have met more than a few people who have no formal boxing/combat sports experience but tell me they do have some experience fighting on the street or messing around with their friends in a basement. I would say that over 95% of such people really, really struggle their first time with formal boxing training. In fact, a good percentage struggle more than someone who has never even thought about throwing a punch in their life. This is because boxing is not fighting, it is a very particular set of skills.

To learn these skills, as I have talked about many times on this blog, you need someone who cares to teach you. But it's not just the basics you need to learn, you also need to someone to teach you how to improve those skills because remember, boxing is about always improving. Of course you want your coach to be knowledgeable and likable, but above all else, to care about your development. To care about making you better. Not just even at boxing but healthier, stronger, happier, more confident, etc. We've all had teachers who don't care about us or what they are teaching, and hopefully, we've had teachers who do care. The difference is obvious.

Having a positive, supportive environment is really important too, in my opinion. You want people to have fun, feel good and work hard. But if you want to teach everyone boxing (or anything), there needs to be some instruction obviously. The tricky part is how people respond to this instruction. Not just how to throw a particular punch or combo but how what they are currently doing can be improved. Everybody both learns and responds to instruction differently. There are plenty who take it as a very negative criticism, even if the teacher tries to put it as nicely and inoffensively as possible. All that they hear is that they are doing something wrong and that is a bad thing. 

This is very understandable though. Especially if you are in an environment that is unfamiliar and surrounded by people who may all seem to "get it.” You may feel like you are even being called out (even though not by name and no one else is paying attention anyway) in front of the group. Sometimes this comes from mismatched expectations. I have had people get mad at me and look very taken aback by the sheer fact that I am teaching them anything. I personally would assume that if I were going to a boxing class and had never done boxing before that people at this place would try to teach me boxing, but I have learned that these expectations can really vary. I've also met the opposite - people who get mad if I say "good job!" because they know they are doing something less than perfectly and want me to tell them what that is. I myself fall somewhat into this category although please feel free to tell me, "good job!" from time to time.

Everyone also has different interest levels in learning too. Some people really want to learn a lot and get better. Some don't really care as much and see boxing only as another form of exercise and aren't able to make the connection between getting better at boxing and the workout getting better too.

No matter what side of the fence you are on, the most important thing to remember is something I talked about earlier - caring.  If someone is trying to teach you boxing (or anything), they must care about you on some level. Even if they sound like a bossy jerk, they are not just doing it to be a bossy jerk or make you feel bad, they care about you learning. (Note that this does not mean it is okay to be a bossy jerk, I am just explaining that it still comes from a motivation of care). If someone doesn't care, why spend any time trying to instruct you specifically? What difference does it make to them if you get better? I guess they could be doing it for money, but that is less of a motivator than it used to be, and if it is in a group class scenario, they can just kind of avoid/ignore you pretty easily. Or I suppose they could also just be mean and sadistic and want to make you feel bad for doing something "wrong" but I think you will be able to spot someone like that.

Also remember that no matter how good you get, you can always get better. When someone tells you to throw a punch or do something differently, it is not saying you are bad or even doing it wrong, per se. It means, "Here is how to do this even better!" Now the bossy jerk may not make it feel this way and that is on them, but try not to see something a coach may want to correct as a representation of you doing something wrong or bad. It's not! The greatest boxers in the world all have coaches and I would bet they do a better job of listening to those coaches than average fighters because, as I mentioned earlier, boxing is less about natural physical/athletic talent than many other sports.

If you could do something better and maybe get stronger and fitter and healthier, wouldn't that be a good thing? So if anyone is telling you, "Here is how you can do this even better!" (even if they don't use those exact words), wouldn't that be a good thing too? This is how we need to see all types of instruction and correction if we want to be our best selves. It isn't always easy and on some level, we all have egos and human sensitivities but again, the reward is our best selves and that is more than worth it! The other part of this is that when you listen to your coach and improve, you need acknowledgement of that too. Your coach should celebrate it and this is where the "good job!" comes in.

So to recap, the next time you hear a coach try to teach you something in boxing, remember the following things:

1. Boxing is hard
2. Everyone can always get better
3. You are not doing anything wrong, you can just can just do that thing better
4. Your Coach cares about YOU getting better
5. Getting better is good
6. Your hard work should be acknowledged and celebrated